I Am a Product of the "Me" Generation

You know why my life sucks? I just thought of it.

Because I've been selfish & lazy my whole life. Yes, that should go without saying, but I'm using this as a message of caution to parents, teachers, and even the younger ones - do not listen to anyone tell you that your self-esteem is the most important thing. Unfortunately, my generation was taught this during the early parts of their lives, when we HAVE to be reactive rather than proactive, because we don't know the world's rules well enough yet. We were taught in elementary school that our self-esteem was THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD, that we could do anything if we put our mind to it, and other horribly destructive things. I was brought up BELIEVING that I was a genius, that I was a good singer, that I was beautiful. I got out to the real world and discovered - GASP - that I was not the center of the universe, and that anything I wanted to get, I had to really work for.

Ultimately, teaching people that they're inherently wonderful and special and naturally talented only results in much more serious self-esteem damage later in their lives. The sudden rude awakening my generation has been faced with has resulted only in a generation of whiners & victims who are totally convinced that the world must be working against them if they're not living the dream. I count myself among those people - "Where is my life?" I keep asking myself. "Where is the wonderful life I was promised by seemingly everyone who met me?" I let it get away from me. Sure, I may very well have alot to offer the world - anyone with any inherent talent does, and everyone is probably special in SOME way. But that skill that we love or that we're good at has to be honed, practiced, worked at. And then you have to work hard to show other people that you can do it. They're not gonna come to you - NO ONE worships you, that's just the truth. Even the people who know you don't revere you as some kind of god with some amazing talent or brain or looks.

When I finally had to go out & live on my own, my dad gave me some great advice. "No one cares how you feel." That is something every single one of you should keep in mind, all the time, every day, no matter what. For one thing, you'll keep from boring your friends with whiny stories about your day at work, or how a friend of yours said something mean about you to someone else. If you ever find yourself telling a story like that, shut up. No one cares. For another thing, it's important to realize that NO ONE WILL MAKE ALLOWANCES FOR YOU. No one cares if you have a long walk in the rain to get to work. They still expect you to be there. If you don't wanna get wet, bring an umbrella and wear some boots. Yeah, you might come to work wet, but you'll be able to have a productive day. And you'll be stronger for it - you were afraid of some minor discomfort, and you faced that fear, and now your life is just that much better. But if you whine to your boss and say you "couldn't" come because the weather sucks, he'll point out to you the people who DID come.

I didn't used to be this much of a selfish whiner. I really wasn't. And remembering that helps motivate me. For instance, I once walked for an hour in the hot sun to get to work because the buses weren't running that day - July 4th. I brought a new shirt to change into once I got there, but I got there and I did my job and I felt really good about myself at the end of the day. My co-workers were even congratulating me, which felt pretty good too.

You are expected to live your life, you are not expected OR permitted to hand the outcome of your life over to other people. And because we've been brought up to believe that we are the most important thing in the world, we are CONSTANTLY doing that. Those of us doing badly in life blame circumstances - the economy, the job market, our parents, our upbringing. Those things may very well be an influence on how hard things are, but there's no reason not to keep playing when you've been dealt a bad hand. Someone with a bad poker hand can still win - all they have to do is play it right. Life is not a game of luck, it is a game of skill. Always remember that there's someone who started WAY worse off than you, and they may very well be doing fine.

My life is in my OWN hands. It is not in the hands of my parents, my co-workers, my friends, my enemies, the guy at the store, the weather, the news reporters, my boyfriend, or my child. It is MY life, and I will do with it what I want. I will not let the world control me.

Your life is yours. Don't ever forget that. Even with a bad hand, you can still win.