How Not To Be A Jerk

In my many travels on the internet, I've encountered many many many many jerks. This is the internet, after all, and it's a reflection of the world as a whole; and most people are jerks.

I like to believe that people are generally good, however. My guess is that alot of times, these people don't realize they're being jerks. Maybe they're just spacey, or simply weren't taught proper manners.

So here's a list I've begun to compile of things you can do (or not do) if you want to avoid being a jerk. :)

1. Don't go out of your way to hate stuff. Don't leave hateful youtube or blog comments, don't make anti-so-and-so websites, don't flame people for their taste in music no matter how crappy it is. Just try to keep your damn mouth shut.
2. Tip at least 10%, unless the server/deliverer/waiter has done something HORRIBLY wrong. Keep in mind, they're not the ones actually making the food, they just ask what you want & bring it to you.
3. Don't ask for discounts! If you're not buying something on sale, with a coupon, with a AAA card, or in bulk, guess what? YOU CAN'T HAVE ONE.
4. Don't write a check for a retail purchase less than about $100. For bonus points, don't write checks for anything but bills that you mail in.
5. Be aware of your surroundings. This means not walking in the middle of the parking lot where cars are driving - walk close to the parked cars please.
6. Hey you high school & middle school girls who walk four-wide & take up the WHOLE HALL, going at turtle speeds on your way to class? CUT IT OUT.
7. When you borrow something like a power tool or a toy or a pen, freaking give it back. It's not yours.
8. Smile.
9. Don't assume you're entitled to anything special if you haven't done anything special to earn it.
10. Don't yell & scream about how things should be a certain way, cuz guess what? Yelling & screaming doesn't magically make the world work the way you want.
11. Clean up after yourself in the damn food court. You don't have to wipe down the table with a Lysol Disinfectant Wipe or anything but at least throw away your trash, for heaven's sake.
12. Don't shop at a retail store unless you've worked in retail & know how it works. Save us your self-righteous arrogance and shop at amazon.com or something.
13. Hang around with nice people. You know, the considerate & thoughtful ones. The ones who are polite. Maybe they'll rub off on you.
14. If someone gives you something, accept it graciously. Don't make comments about wishing you got more, don't insist on not taking it, and don't just grab it without saying thank you. All three of those things make you look like a condescending jerk.
15. If something important happens, and you know someone who needs (or would want) to know, TELL THEM.
16. Don't be lazy.
17. If it's the holidays, and you're at your favorite store, and all 8 or whatever checkout lanes are open, DO NOT COMPLAIN TO THE MANAGER ABOUT THE LINES. Logic would dictate that we'd open more lanes if we could, but - oh look at that! IT ISN'T PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.
18. Don't shoplift, seriously. :( Not cool.
19. Don't physically hurt anyone.
20. Don't play mean tricks on people where they think something good is gonna happen and then they get shot down.
21. Don't laugh at the videos on AMFV where people fall down & get hurt, wtf is wrong with you??
22. Make educated decisions rather than going with loyalty & then defending your stupidity when people call you on it.
23. Be understanding. Just because someone doesn't know how to pronounce your name doesn't mean they're racist or stupid. They gave it a try, you should be proud of them. Correct them politely and move on. If someone calls you "ma'am" and you don't like it, just politely say that the title isn't necessary and move on. If someone thinks you're a girl from behind because you have long hair, just turn around so they can see you're a dude and move on. If you have a friend who's really broke & they can only afford to get you a card for your birthday, it doesn't mean they hate you if they didn't buy you a big expensive present. Thank them for the card and move on.
24. Drive like an educated, considerate human being. Don't cut people off, don't speed, use the 3-second rule, and FOR GOD'S SAKE USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL.
25. Don't be that guy. You know what I mean, depending on your social circle. The moocher, the leech, the womanizer, the antisocial guy who never smiles, the arrogant yuppie, the elitist fanboy, the conforming nonconformist, the genius, the fashion plate, or the showoff. There are other categories, but you know what I mean.

Just think, with these 25 easy steps, you too can be a productive member of society! They're fairly basic, just... don't be a jerk.